I took the day off work yesterday, counting on our new hire Tommy Messano to handle the news load on what would turn out to be a busy Monday. This allowed me to simply watch Monday Night Raw as a fan, relaxed on the couch, open to being taken for whatever ride WWE had in store for me.
What a silly, stupid, amazing ride it was.
The show was memorable for a number of reasons but nothing stood out as much as the show long storyline of The Miz being haunted by literal garbage. Giving this context, somehow, makes it even more ridiculous.
Back at TLC, The Miz and his teammates, Kane, Cesaro, and Sheamus, decided to rid themselves of Braun Strowman by attempting to murder him via garbage truck. They threw him in the trash compactor, proceeded to lose the match they were in, and just went on about their lives. That wouldn’t be the end of it, of course, and sure enough, Strowman returned to get his revenge this week.
Here’s the incredibly dumb, utterly glorious way they brought him back:
Consider everything you see in that opening sequence, and all it implies. Miz and his crew are attempting to make a getaway because they believe they didn’t actually murder Strowman in the trash compactor, an act they faced no consequences for. The limo then stops when it sees a garbage truck in front of it, backing up to it, despite the fact there is plenty of room to go around it. The doors are locked and the vehicle doesn’t move again, I guess because the driver was paid off, or in cahoots with Braun.
What makes the scene is what comes next. Miz, Axel, and Dallas look on in shock and surprise as the garbage truck dumps trash in front of the limo and none other than Braun Strowman triumphantly rises up from it before lifting his arms and letting out a primal howl. If Strowman colluded with the driver, that would mean he escaped the previous trash compactor and put himself into this new garbage truck just for the aforementioned dramatic effect of slowly being reborn amidst a sea of trash. The only other answer is that he was trapped in the garbage all along, but he’s not even dirty! He’s glistening, even!
Then, somehow, the doors to the limo are unlocked, allowing Miz and his band of idiots to run away. This gave us maybe the greatest GIF in the history of time:
YOU: Come over and watch RAW
Me: I dunno
YOU: Braun’s back and he’s a T-1000 of trash
— TDE Wrestling (@totaldivaseps) October 31, 2017
I sat on my couch watching this unfold with a mix of disbelief, embarrassment, and the absolute joy of a child witnessing its caregiver magically reappear during a simple game of peek-a-boo. It simultaneously made me ask just what the hell I’m getting out of all this while answering that very question at the same time. This is every reason to mock pro wrestling, and every reason to celebrate it.
It’s so dumb.
And so awesome.